Left Out! smirked by the popular girls in school

I think I do not belong in the world! I don’t know, maybe I just felt it but most of the times, I can notice it. Not that I am the REAl freak girl that has only one bestfriend, and is smirked by the popular girls in school. I hope so that my life is as simple as that. But no… I am a popular girl in school, the social butterfly. It seems like I am over-all. I can chat with the jocks, athletes, the smarties, the mean, the invisibles- almost everyone. I am also smart, and quite popular in school, and on an external view, I have many friends. But of course, one has their best friends and we are four in group. But it seems like I ws always left out in them. Like, they don’t like me at all, and I feel bad about it. Also in my family. I felt left out. What shall I do with this problem?

When I was 14 I went to a drinking party with 7 seniors and 1 adult. I snack out and went to the guy’s house. I got really drunk and was taken advantage of. The next day my parents found me still drunk at a friends, so they took me to get a rape kit done. Come to find out I was sexually abused. I don’t remember much but these guys were my friends and are now being charged for rape. I don’t know what to believe. They say I was all for it, and I am shocked. Now, my whole life is gone. I was a cheerleader, a dancer, all sports player. I felt like my life was perfect. That’s all gone. I am hated. I had to move and am now home schooled with no friends. My family is struggling to stay together. I haven’t gone to court and my case is weak. We have no money. I see a psychologist. I used to cut. I have lost total control of everything and I don’t know what to do. I know I cant ever get back to who I used to be. I need God to help, but Im afraid I messed up majority.

my dad seems like having a relationship with our caregiver. she went into my father room and sleep their whole night. should i call her caregiver agency? its like they are taking advantage of my mother’s situation. the caregiver was fired by my mom cause she looks like flirting with my dad. and that my dad seems interested with the girl. the caregiver is young and looks like looking for a rich old man to give her money , easy money i guess. my mom needs care but then what happened is that its like she is being deceived by my dad and this girl. the caregiver has been their in the house for 4 months and i think after two months they were having sex with my father . we are supposed to trust this caregiver and now she is acting like a thief very unprofessional and not shame at all. i am scared if she will do something bad to my mother just to get my dad and live like a rich pirate. what should i do ?